I wish all of you who are celebrating this morning a merry merry christmas! :)

Love,
Clouds

So it seems I am done with BUS. I don'T feel safe there anymore. After being verbally abused by a member, having to change my username because Petra was reading there and making an ass out of myself I should really consider the negative impact this community has for me lately.
It is really sad to leave BUS. I almost want to cry because I'll miss the people there so much. :(

The days have been passing slowly. I don't have a whole lot of energy anymore. I feel tired all the time, exhausted and take two breaks walking up the stairs to my apartment.

I stopped smoking. Today day 4 without smoke passed. It is easier than I expected!

Multiple stuff has been bothering me again lately. I feel myself drift off a lot, feeling disconnected from my body, hearing myself talk and not being able to make out the words I'm saying. Or just disappearing. I am very uncomfortable with that. :(

I really don'T want to leave BUS. I've been on it for six years! SIX years.In Jan it would have been exactly six years...

I don't know what to think about this. I just feel ...
blah I can't even type properly, because I keep drifting in and out of my body and feeling dizzy and getting headaches. :(

I need a shower. And I need some energy. And I need .... blah

Bertl and I just finished making the rat cage.

Is it just me or are my thoughts all over the place lately?? :(

Hmmph. Will post pics of the new cage and the ratlets in a few...

Till then!